Medic Mama

My sweet, independent girl let me rock her tonight. She stopped wanting to be rocked to sleep around 3 or 4 months old. After several nights of her fighting us as we rocked, we simply put her down in her crib. She grabbed her lovey in her left hand, sucked the thumb on her right and went to sleep. That's how she has been ever since, save for a few nights here or there. Tonight she had been asleep for about 3 hours when she suddenly began to cry. Sometimes when she fusses in the night, I wait and see if she will go back to sleep and she usually does. But she got so upset so quickly that I went in right away. Sometimes you just know when they won't be able to calm themselves. Holding her and rocking, smelling her hair and feeling her little fingers on one hand play with my hair while she sucked her thumb on the other.  What a blessing that is! What a treasure these memories are. Midnight snuggles as you provide safety and security to this tiny person you created. It won't al...

Disclaimer: I talk about my miscarriage. It has always been part of my grieving process to talk about things, even the hard things. If this will be too much to read or bring up painful memories, please don't read further. Mr C and I had been married for about 3 months when I became pregnant for the first time. We were so excited! For Christmas, we told J he was going to be a big brother and he was even more excited! I found out super early on that I was preggo, so we still had about a month before our first ultrasound. But the planning and dreaming had already begun. I started looking for baby items on sale: pack and play, stroller, carseat... I had to stop myself from buying too many things because we didn't know the gender yet. Despite the excitement, I spent a lot of the early days of the pregnancy very anxious. I would worry about anything and everything. And then the day finally came! I was 8 weeks along and it was time for my first doctors appointment. The ap...

This is a long one. And it will be boring if you're not interested in my labor story. You've been warned! Looking back, I realize I may not have been as completely unprepared as I felt at the time. It was December 22nd, 2017, I was 36 weeks pregnant and about to enjoy dinner and a movie (LOTR... what what!) with my mom who was in town from northern CA for Christmas. She had just brought me a homemade burger (trying to get that iron up) when it felt like I had suddenly peed my pants. Now, this is not an unusual thing, to pee yourself when you're preggo. This felt different though. After some internal debating, I mention it to my mom. Following some investigating, I found that my water had broken. Now, my husband was at work an hour away and I wasn't due for a about 4 weeks. Not to mention everyone is always like, "oh your first baby will take forever to come, you won't go fast, she won't come early." But I figured I should probably call him and let h...